Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Making Friends and Doctor Visits

Part of moving is Gareth changing schools. And Malcolm as well (I'm still sad about this as I was so looking forward to being in Teacher Lauren's class again, but we have found what I hope will be a good alternative). I know Gareth is a little bit nervous and upset about this as he mentions it occasionally. But overall he seems to be attempting to take it calmly.

Gareth has always been social and good at making new friends. My biggest concern is that he hasn't had to make new friends, really, since preschool. His closest friends then are still among his closest friends now. And we just moved away from them. I kind of feel like a horrible parent. I loved that he was still so close with his friends from preK. But he had added a few new friends to the mix over the past couple years, so he'll be fine and will make new friends and I will work much harder than I usually do to be intentional about getting together with his current friends.

I'm actually much more worried about me. I'm hoping to stay close to my friends (who are the parents of his friends). But if he makes new friends that means I have to at least get to know some new parents. And that's a little terrifying. It's one thing when your kid is starting kindergarten and all the parents are in the same boat for the most part. Sure, some have older kids at the school and have parents friends already, but they're open to getting to know new people as part of their younger kid making friends. But coming in to a bunch of 3rd grade parents who already know the ins and outs of the school and already have circles of friends? It's exactly what I'm horrible at. I don't break into existing groups of friends well at all. Lack of shared history leaves you always feeling just a little on the outside, if not a lot. At least we haven't moved that far away from our friends, so continuing to get together with them shouldn't be all that difficult.

In other news, I took the boys in for their yearly physicals today. They're both doing great. Mal, as usual, was not super-thrilled to be at the doctor's office, though he does like to look at the fish in the waiting area. He has at least stopped screaming the instant he sees the doctor and just spent this visit acting very scared and sad. He only screamed when she tried to check his ears and when she wanted him to lay down on the table (he hates the crinkly paper). Neither of them had to get shots this time around, which Gareth was happy about - mainly because he doesn't like hearing Malcolm cry when getting shots. Gareth tends to take his own shots in stride. Both boys are very consistent in their growth. Gareth's just above the 50th percentile for both height and weight. Mal is just above 50th for height and about 40th for weight. She did comment on how different the boys' personalities are and seemed glad to hear that Mal will be doing preschool, giving him a better chance at socialization. That's one reason why I'm excited for it as well. Gareth has a couple tics and it was nice to hear that she didn't notice him blinking as much (I've always been horrible at noticing this one, but others have commented on it as well). He's still clearing his throat all the time, but we're going to keep trying to ignore it and hopefully it'll diminish on its own eventually.

1 comment:

Alanna said...

Someone should have warned me how much harder it is to make grown-up friends once your kids are a little older! I can't just dash out to playgroup with my baby and pretend that it's for his benefit when really we all know it's for the moms' sanity. About a month after my move I was bemoaning this fact to my sister (who has lived in at least five different places since she got married) and she said that it usually takes about two months to make any sort of friends at all, and six months to make a good friend. So far, she seems to be right about that.

Good luck with it all!!! At least you still can see your old friends, even if it will require a bit more work!