The evening before Gareth started school I took him to his first soccer practice and then we rushed home so I could scarf down some dinner and run back out to an audition for the Seattle Philharmonic. I think it's possible that some of my facebook acquaintances have thought this is a bigger audition, for a paying job. It's an understandable mistake, as some cities have professional orchestras that are Philharmonics. But the big professional orchestra of Seattle is actually the Seattle Symphony. The Seattle Philharmonic is a community orchestra. But, according to what I've heard, it's one of the best community orchestras in the area (the classical station here will sometimes broadcast their concerts). Anyway, their second clarinetist died last fall (very sad - it was a brain tumor and she'd been doing better and then about the time we moved into our house here the tumor started growing again) and they'd had someone subbing in the position for last year but hadn't yet held a formal audition for the seat.
My teacher had been out of town for the three weeks before the audition, and some of the excerpts they were asking for had changed since we'd last had a lesson, meaning we hadn't ever gone over the new excerpts. But I'd found recordings and done my best to get them up to speed on my own. For those who might care about such things, they asked for Beethoven #2, first movement, Beethoven #6, first and third movements, Brahms #2, second and fourth movements, Mendelssohn's Midsummer Night's Dream, and Capriccio Espagnol (I practiced the excerpts from both the 1st and 3rd movements, because I didn't know which they wanted, turned out they wanted the 3rd movement). And I prepared the first movement of Erland von Koch's Monologue 3, which is for solo clarinet.
There was one person before me and one after. Not sure if there were any more as I left after I was done. While waiting for the first candidate to warm up I sat and chatted with a vocalist who will be singing with the orchestra in the spring. Unfortunately this left my throat rather dry and I'd stupidly not thought to bring a water bottle with me. I managed to get over this while warming up though. I was a bit thrown by realizing I'd be standing up for the audition. Back in my high school or college days this wouldn't have fazed me, as I practiced standing up quite often. But it's been a long time since I've played standing up, so I was not happy to notice a slight change in my tone quality while standing.
The audition went quite well. Of course, immediately afterward I mostly focused on the negative things: I got too soft too fast here and so those notes didn't speak, I fumbled this passage here, the sight reading was dreadful, and so on. But the vocalist pointed out a lot of good things about my audition and said that at that point I'd be her pick. So by the time I left I was feeling better about it and in reality it was a pretty solid audition. I felt that no matter what happened, I'd be happy with how I'd played. Later that night I got an email letting me know about a rehearsal venue change for the next night, but that just left me uncertain as it wasn't a definitive, "yes, you've got the spot" and they could've sent the information to everyone who auditioned.
Ryan at times seemed more anxious than I did to find out, but that might've been because Gareth and Malcolm had been little nightmares while I was gone. He even jokingly said at one point that I shouldn't audition for such things because then I might actually get in. When he saw that an email had come from the personnel manager the next morning, he brought my phone to me right away. I got the seat, and the manager said some very nice things about my playing. Ryan, while not terribly excited about the prospect of a second night in a row alone with the kids (and for a much longer stretch as the rehearsal was a good half hour away), was very excited for me. And a bit jealous because I have several musical groups I participate in now and he doesn't have any yet. I haven't played in orchestra since graduating in 2006, so it was exciting news for me as well. Orchestra has always been my love, so it feels wonderful to be in one again.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
More Firsts
This has been a week of firsts. First day of school, first successful shoelace-tying attempt, first soccer game.
It was really hot out there (really hot here equates to 85 degrees), with no shade anywhere near the field. Gareth finished off most of his water before the first (20-minute) half was over. It's quite entertaining to watch the five-year-olds play since they're lucky if they manage to run in the right direction and the ball is a magnet that draws them all in. Teamwork doesn't mean anything yet, so members of the same team are fighting each other for the ball. They play three on three, so the teams get split in two and hold two games at the same time. Gareth's bunch only had 5, and one of those decided she wasn't too keen on the mass huddle around the ball thing, so the other 4 got a ton of playing time. Gareth was in for almost the entire game and he did a great job staying determined and continuing to work hard even though you could tell he was exhausted. He was very upset at the end that he never kicked the ball into the goal himself (though he did assist quite well on a couple of goals, but of course that doesn't mean much to a 5-year-old). Hopefully wanting to make goals all the time will be something he gets over quickly. I think I could count on one hand the number of goals I made in my seven or so years of playing soccer, so if he doesn't get over it he could be in for a lot of disappointment. He seemed to enjoy himself, despite the disappointment of not scoring.
I decided to take video of him tying his shoe after he did the first one without any help from me at all. He'd practiced with me on maybe two other occasions prior to this.
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| Gareth's team wears green jerseys - he's on the right |
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| Wiping off sweaty faces while waiting for play to start again |
It was really hot out there (really hot here equates to 85 degrees), with no shade anywhere near the field. Gareth finished off most of his water before the first (20-minute) half was over. It's quite entertaining to watch the five-year-olds play since they're lucky if they manage to run in the right direction and the ball is a magnet that draws them all in. Teamwork doesn't mean anything yet, so members of the same team are fighting each other for the ball. They play three on three, so the teams get split in two and hold two games at the same time. Gareth's bunch only had 5, and one of those decided she wasn't too keen on the mass huddle around the ball thing, so the other 4 got a ton of playing time. Gareth was in for almost the entire game and he did a great job staying determined and continuing to work hard even though you could tell he was exhausted. He was very upset at the end that he never kicked the ball into the goal himself (though he did assist quite well on a couple of goals, but of course that doesn't mean much to a 5-year-old). Hopefully wanting to make goals all the time will be something he gets over quickly. I think I could count on one hand the number of goals I made in my seven or so years of playing soccer, so if he doesn't get over it he could be in for a lot of disappointment. He seemed to enjoy himself, despite the disappointment of not scoring.
I decided to take video of him tying his shoe after he did the first one without any help from me at all. He'd practiced with me on maybe two other occasions prior to this.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
First Day of School
Gareth has been beyond excited for school for the past couple of weeks and finally the big day came. Yesterday morning he (and Malcolm) woke up bright and early at about ten to seven. Gareth came into our room, asking where his "school clothes" were (I'd just washed them earlier in the week, so they hadn't made it to his room yet) and quickly got dressed. Usually he wants to wait until noon to get dressed, so this was nothing short of a miracle.
I got up and went to work on the breakfast I'd promised him - waffles. We don't usually have waffles, because my brain's got this idea that they're time-consuming and tedious to make. They're not, but somehow that idea is firmly implanted in my mind. So, yeah, it's a pretty special thing to get waffles. Gareth helped me until the first batch was done and he could start eating.
The morning wasn't terribly stressful, because school starts on the late side here. So I had plenty of time to shower and remember to brush Gareth's hair and teeth and all that. We even got the dishwasher emptied before heading out! I loaded all of Gareth's supplies into a paper bag and his backpack and we set out for the school. I love that we have neighborhood schools here now (they used to work on a lottery system), because it means that Gareth doesn't have to ride a bus. It's a decent walk for little legs (10 blocks), but Gareth's did pretty well with it.
Things were a bit crazy with all the parents there dropping off their kids and their supplies. Gareth's teacher helped him find his locker (he's in the classroom not originally intended as a Kindergarten room, so no bathroom or cubby area inside the room) and then he went into the room to find his desk. There are four other kids at his "table" area with him. Gareth sat down and started coloring right away; I had a hard time getting him to even acknowledge me to say good-bye! I felt badly for the dad of one of the kids in the class, who's kid was bawling when it was time for him to go. But I saw him walking down the hall later, so he managed to get away at some point.
It did feel a bit strange to leave Gareth there, having no firm idea myself of how the day works and what they'd be doing. With preschool last year, I worked in the school on the first day of the week, so I knew before I ever left him what the day would look like. So, yeah, a bit strange to leave him, but definitely no tears on my part. And I'm sure I'll figure out over the next few weeks how his classroom works and what kinds of things they do during the day.
The K kids have half days this first week, then go to full day next week. I met up at a restaurant with some other parents from our preschool after we'd dropped the kids off and then rushed back to pick Gareth up on time. Today was my first day just heading home with Malcolm. I think it'll be nice to have time just with Malcolm. Especially if it works out like today, where he fell asleep on the walk up to the school and then let me move him to his crib when we got home and stayed asleep for another hour! Poor kid hasn't had a chance to develop much of a nap routine yet, and I'm hopeful that with Gareth in school we'll be able to get him on a more consistent routine.
First day of school review was rather mixed. Gareth got really hungry (they have a snack, but not until 11), so he was really negative about it all until I got some lunch in him. It was boring, it wasn't what he expected, there weren't any toys in the room, he was disappointed that they didn't read the story he wanted. About the only positive thing he said when I picked him up was that his teacher had beautiful earrings. But after lunch some more positives started coming out. He's excited because his "team" (the group of kids he sits near) is the Gorillas. It was fun to sit on the carpet for the story. But the overall response to day one was that it was boring and disappointing.
With that in mind, I was rather surprised when he said he was excited for school this morning. This morning I made sure to feed him a small snack before we left the house and on the way to school he told an acquaintance that his first day had been great. The first thing he said when I picked him up was, "It wasn't boring today!". Hopefully things will be more positive from here on out, but I wouldn't be surprised if we have more "boring" days since it sounds like they spend the first month acclimating to the school.
I got up and went to work on the breakfast I'd promised him - waffles. We don't usually have waffles, because my brain's got this idea that they're time-consuming and tedious to make. They're not, but somehow that idea is firmly implanted in my mind. So, yeah, it's a pretty special thing to get waffles. Gareth helped me until the first batch was done and he could start eating.
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| Ready to go (a good 30 minutes early) |
The morning wasn't terribly stressful, because school starts on the late side here. So I had plenty of time to shower and remember to brush Gareth's hair and teeth and all that. We even got the dishwasher emptied before heading out! I loaded all of Gareth's supplies into a paper bag and his backpack and we set out for the school. I love that we have neighborhood schools here now (they used to work on a lottery system), because it means that Gareth doesn't have to ride a bus. It's a decent walk for little legs (10 blocks), but Gareth's did pretty well with it.
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| Thrilled that the first day of school means getting his picture taken |
Things were a bit crazy with all the parents there dropping off their kids and their supplies. Gareth's teacher helped him find his locker (he's in the classroom not originally intended as a Kindergarten room, so no bathroom or cubby area inside the room) and then he went into the room to find his desk. There are four other kids at his "table" area with him. Gareth sat down and started coloring right away; I had a hard time getting him to even acknowledge me to say good-bye! I felt badly for the dad of one of the kids in the class, who's kid was bawling when it was time for him to go. But I saw him walking down the hall later, so he managed to get away at some point.
It did feel a bit strange to leave Gareth there, having no firm idea myself of how the day works and what they'd be doing. With preschool last year, I worked in the school on the first day of the week, so I knew before I ever left him what the day would look like. So, yeah, a bit strange to leave him, but definitely no tears on my part. And I'm sure I'll figure out over the next few weeks how his classroom works and what kinds of things they do during the day.
The K kids have half days this first week, then go to full day next week. I met up at a restaurant with some other parents from our preschool after we'd dropped the kids off and then rushed back to pick Gareth up on time. Today was my first day just heading home with Malcolm. I think it'll be nice to have time just with Malcolm. Especially if it works out like today, where he fell asleep on the walk up to the school and then let me move him to his crib when we got home and stayed asleep for another hour! Poor kid hasn't had a chance to develop much of a nap routine yet, and I'm hopeful that with Gareth in school we'll be able to get him on a more consistent routine.
First day of school review was rather mixed. Gareth got really hungry (they have a snack, but not until 11), so he was really negative about it all until I got some lunch in him. It was boring, it wasn't what he expected, there weren't any toys in the room, he was disappointed that they didn't read the story he wanted. About the only positive thing he said when I picked him up was that his teacher had beautiful earrings. But after lunch some more positives started coming out. He's excited because his "team" (the group of kids he sits near) is the Gorillas. It was fun to sit on the carpet for the story. But the overall response to day one was that it was boring and disappointing.
With that in mind, I was rather surprised when he said he was excited for school this morning. This morning I made sure to feed him a small snack before we left the house and on the way to school he told an acquaintance that his first day had been great. The first thing he said when I picked him up was, "It wasn't boring today!". Hopefully things will be more positive from here on out, but I wouldn't be surprised if we have more "boring" days since it sounds like they spend the first month acclimating to the school.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Burke Museum
Early this week we hopped on the bus over to the Burke Museum for a last week of summer break outing. We hadn't been before and I'd considered having us go on a weekend as a family, but museums aren't really Ryan's thing. Gareth had seen the pictures of the dinosaur fossils on their website though, and had been asking when we were going to see the fossils ever since.
I hadn't been to the UW campus yet either, so it was fun to see a bit of that. It's quite a nice campus, with lots of lovely brick buildings, lots of green (of course), as well as the requisite nasty ugly building from the 60s or 70s (is there any campus that doesn't have one of these?).
We got to the museum a bit before our friends, so we hung out looking at the fossils and other items on the first floor until they got there. Gareth was very impressed with the dinosaur fossils and enjoyed looking at the polar bear and lion skulls as well as a display on volcanos. He was excited enough to enjoy looking at them all a second time when his friend got there. The museum starts charging admission at age 5, which is good because the 2 year old in our group was less than impressed with everything. But the older kids enjoyed themelves. In addition to the fossil and volcano displays they also had several stuffed birds and squirrels and things and a display on various Pacific cultures.
We ended by checking out the photography exhibit. Gareth said this wasn't very interesting, despite asking questions about several pictures and stating they were "cool" while we were in there. But I can understand why photography wouldn't compare to dinosaur fossils and playing with puppets for him. Overall, a successful outing. Now I'm waiting for school to start so I can go to King Tut with Ryan during the day. And there's a display of quilts over in Bellevue that I hope to check out soon as well.
I hadn't been to the UW campus yet either, so it was fun to see a bit of that. It's quite a nice campus, with lots of lovely brick buildings, lots of green (of course), as well as the requisite nasty ugly building from the 60s or 70s (is there any campus that doesn't have one of these?).
We got to the museum a bit before our friends, so we hung out looking at the fossils and other items on the first floor until they got there. Gareth was very impressed with the dinosaur fossils and enjoyed looking at the polar bear and lion skulls as well as a display on volcanos. He was excited enough to enjoy looking at them all a second time when his friend got there. The museum starts charging admission at age 5, which is good because the 2 year old in our group was less than impressed with everything. But the older kids enjoyed themelves. In addition to the fossil and volcano displays they also had several stuffed birds and squirrels and things and a display on various Pacific cultures.
We ended by checking out the photography exhibit. Gareth said this wasn't very interesting, despite asking questions about several pictures and stating they were "cool" while we were in there. But I can understand why photography wouldn't compare to dinosaur fossils and playing with puppets for him. Overall, a successful outing. Now I'm waiting for school to start so I can go to King Tut with Ryan during the day. And there's a display of quilts over in Bellevue that I hope to check out soon as well.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Omelet
I tried making an omelet for the first time the other day. In fact, I believe it was the first time I've ever eaten an omelet as well. The recipe came from the Quinoa 365 cookbook, one I'd been drawn to several times just from the picture. Ryan isn't one to care about aesthetics of a meal, but I find when I'm looking for recipes to try that it helps me a lot if the picture of the dish is colorful and otherwise aesthetically pleasing.
First, I chopped the vegetables. See how bright and cheerful they are?
Then I sauteed the asparagus, mushrooms and green onions (this smelled so delicious):
Then tossed those with the tomatoes:
At this point I found out Ryan's bus hadn't come yet and he'd be later than usual and kinda forgot about taking pictures. But when he was home I mixed together the eggs, milk, quinoa, and pesto and started to cook the omelet. The recipe called for two eggs for one omelet, and the omelet looked quite a bit smaller than the size pan I was using. So I figured I'd double that and it'd work out decently. In the end it looked like our omelets were much thicker than the recipe pictured, so maybe I should've stuck with the single recipe for our pan. As it was, I wasn't really sure how to get all the egg cooked without burning the underside. The recipe said to just cover it for a couple of minutes until the top was cooked, but it didn't seem to quite work that way for me. In the end, I managed to get everything cooked, but the bottom of the omelets were a tad dark.
I transferred the omelet to a plate and added the cottage cheese. Here's half of an omelet (they were huge):
Not quite as pretty as the cookbook picture, but still pretty tasty!
First, I chopped the vegetables. See how bright and cheerful they are?
Then I sauteed the asparagus, mushrooms and green onions (this smelled so delicious):
Then tossed those with the tomatoes:
At this point I found out Ryan's bus hadn't come yet and he'd be later than usual and kinda forgot about taking pictures. But when he was home I mixed together the eggs, milk, quinoa, and pesto and started to cook the omelet. The recipe called for two eggs for one omelet, and the omelet looked quite a bit smaller than the size pan I was using. So I figured I'd double that and it'd work out decently. In the end it looked like our omelets were much thicker than the recipe pictured, so maybe I should've stuck with the single recipe for our pan. As it was, I wasn't really sure how to get all the egg cooked without burning the underside. The recipe said to just cover it for a couple of minutes until the top was cooked, but it didn't seem to quite work that way for me. In the end, I managed to get everything cooked, but the bottom of the omelets were a tad dark.
I transferred the omelet to a plate and added the cottage cheese. Here's half of an omelet (they were huge):
Not quite as pretty as the cookbook picture, but still pretty tasty!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
First "Swim"
Taking Gareth to swimming lessons twice a week has given both Ryan and myself the urge to go swimming ourselves. The only problem being that neither of us owned swimsuits. The last one I had had been purchased when I was 14 or 15 and Ryan had thrown his last one out a few years back. The urge to swim finally overpowered Ryan and we went out last weekend to pick up some suits. My options were definitely limited, I'm assuming because of the time of year. And can I just say how difficult it is to find clothes/swimsuits when your body is still a completely different size than it normally is.
Ryan worked from home on Tuesday and we went off in the afternoon to the public swim at the local pool. I was worried that Malcolm and I would end up staying home since swim diapers start out for 16 pounders. Turned out it was a bit big, but doable. And luckily we'd inherited a swim suit in his size from his cousin. I'd figured we'd never use a 3-6 month suit, but am now glad we took it anyway.
Gareth stuck with Ryan and Ryan got him to put his head under water several times. Malcolm stuck with me. At first he sucked in his breathe every time the water hit his belly as it was a bit cold. Once he got used to the temperature he didn't much care that he was in the water. It was noisy and there were lots of other people and so many new things, so he was a bit overwhelmed. He handled it pretty well, but wasn't terribly interested in making eye contact or engaging in any way. I moved him around a bit in the water while he sucked his fingers. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures. A lifeguard offered, but my phone was in a locker. By the time I met Ryan and the boys back in the lobby after our swim, Malcolm was back to his usual smiley self, though he was totally exhausted we'd later discover. I figured he'd want to eat while at the pool, but he didn't ever cry or in any way indicate he was hungry. Then I thought I'd feed him when we got home, but I turned around to help Gareth with something and a couple minutes later Malcolm was out. I thought picking him up and going to find the burp cloth would wake him up, but no. He slept for a couple hours and then was ready to go to sleep for the night about 9:30, and didn't wake up until 8 the next morning. Now that's something I could get used to!
Ryan worked from home on Tuesday and we went off in the afternoon to the public swim at the local pool. I was worried that Malcolm and I would end up staying home since swim diapers start out for 16 pounders. Turned out it was a bit big, but doable. And luckily we'd inherited a swim suit in his size from his cousin. I'd figured we'd never use a 3-6 month suit, but am now glad we took it anyway.
Gareth stuck with Ryan and Ryan got him to put his head under water several times. Malcolm stuck with me. At first he sucked in his breathe every time the water hit his belly as it was a bit cold. Once he got used to the temperature he didn't much care that he was in the water. It was noisy and there were lots of other people and so many new things, so he was a bit overwhelmed. He handled it pretty well, but wasn't terribly interested in making eye contact or engaging in any way. I moved him around a bit in the water while he sucked his fingers. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures. A lifeguard offered, but my phone was in a locker. By the time I met Ryan and the boys back in the lobby after our swim, Malcolm was back to his usual smiley self, though he was totally exhausted we'd later discover. I figured he'd want to eat while at the pool, but he didn't ever cry or in any way indicate he was hungry. Then I thought I'd feed him when we got home, but I turned around to help Gareth with something and a couple minutes later Malcolm was out. I thought picking him up and going to find the burp cloth would wake him up, but no. He slept for a couple hours and then was ready to go to sleep for the night about 9:30, and didn't wake up until 8 the next morning. Now that's something I could get used to!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Blood
I don't handle blood well. I learned this when I was seven and was tested for Lyme disease. The nurse told me I could watch them draw my blood if I wanted, which I did want since I'd never seen blood drawn before. After she finished she asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said, right before I fell off the chair to the floor. As a high schooler I whacked and cut open my toe on a wall while babysitting some kids. One of the kids I was supposed to be caring for had to help me clean and bandage it, because I couldn't look at the blood.
Sometimes I don't even handle the thought of blood well. When I was visiting Ryan's family one Thanksgiving (before we were even dating, so really they were Sarah's family back then) we all went to watch Master and Commander. It got to the scene where they amputate the kid's arm and I knew not to watch in case there was lots of "blood". But I couldn't stop myself thinking about what it would be like to saw through someone's arm and how it would feel to pierce the skin and as you hit the bone and all the blood and on and on. I tried to stop thinking about it, but just couldn't. I started feeling woozy and closed my eyes to try and let my stomach calm. Next thing I knew Sarah was shaking me and I'd missed several minutes of the movie. I had fainted in the movie theatre (but thankfully remained in my seat) and her dad had noticed I was twitching and was wondering what on earth was wrong with me. Yeah, that was embarrassing. (I have since watched that movie with no problems whatsoever, by the way.)
I've learned that it's good to have someone else around if I cut myself because I very quickly get all shaky and faint. So slicing my finger today while making dinner when Malcolm was screaming and we were trying to get ready for a swim lesson wasn't such a great move since Ryan wasn't home. Poor Gareth got really freaked out while I tried to wash the cut at the sink while keeping my head as low as possible (not an easy task). Despite all his shaking and fear and uncertainty about what was going on, he managed to get me the box of bandaids and call Ryan to ask him to come home. I knew Ryan wouldn't be able to make it for 45 minutes or so, but it was nice to know he was on his way just in case I did end up fainting, which for a few minutes felt dangerously imminent. In the end, I didn't faint, but did throw up before I managed to get a bandaid on (bandaids are really difficult to open when your hands are wet by the way) and sit down on the floor trying to calm my breathing and stop the shaking and numbness before attempting to take care of the now frothing-at-the-mouth Malcolm. Of course, by the time Ryan made it home things were just fine, though my finger still hurt like the dickens, and I felt a bit silly for having him come home early.
Thing is, I don't have too much trouble when Gareth gets cuts and scrapes. Even when he hit his head on a door hinge a couple years ago I was able to handle that quite well (I did have to look away from time to time and take a deep breath, but that's not bad for a head wound I'd say). And for his typical knee cuts and scrapes I have no problem cleaning them up. So apparently it's not so much the blood that's problematic (though it definitely is to some extent), but maybe the pain aspect. When I'm washing out Gareth's cuts I'm not causing myself any pain (though if you heard him you'd think I was cutting his leg off). But if I've cut myself there's a lot of causing myself pain to get it taken care of, not to mention the pain from having a sharp knife slice through your skin. If only I could somehow get myself to react as well with my own cuts as I do with Gareth's. Any friends been successful at overcoming queasiness at the sight of blood? Oh, and tomorrow I get to discover just how much this will mess with my practicing ahead of my audition at the beginning of September. Horrible timing.
Sometimes I don't even handle the thought of blood well. When I was visiting Ryan's family one Thanksgiving (before we were even dating, so really they were Sarah's family back then) we all went to watch Master and Commander. It got to the scene where they amputate the kid's arm and I knew not to watch in case there was lots of "blood". But I couldn't stop myself thinking about what it would be like to saw through someone's arm and how it would feel to pierce the skin and as you hit the bone and all the blood and on and on. I tried to stop thinking about it, but just couldn't. I started feeling woozy and closed my eyes to try and let my stomach calm. Next thing I knew Sarah was shaking me and I'd missed several minutes of the movie. I had fainted in the movie theatre (but thankfully remained in my seat) and her dad had noticed I was twitching and was wondering what on earth was wrong with me. Yeah, that was embarrassing. (I have since watched that movie with no problems whatsoever, by the way.)
I've learned that it's good to have someone else around if I cut myself because I very quickly get all shaky and faint. So slicing my finger today while making dinner when Malcolm was screaming and we were trying to get ready for a swim lesson wasn't such a great move since Ryan wasn't home. Poor Gareth got really freaked out while I tried to wash the cut at the sink while keeping my head as low as possible (not an easy task). Despite all his shaking and fear and uncertainty about what was going on, he managed to get me the box of bandaids and call Ryan to ask him to come home. I knew Ryan wouldn't be able to make it for 45 minutes or so, but it was nice to know he was on his way just in case I did end up fainting, which for a few minutes felt dangerously imminent. In the end, I didn't faint, but did throw up before I managed to get a bandaid on (bandaids are really difficult to open when your hands are wet by the way) and sit down on the floor trying to calm my breathing and stop the shaking and numbness before attempting to take care of the now frothing-at-the-mouth Malcolm. Of course, by the time Ryan made it home things were just fine, though my finger still hurt like the dickens, and I felt a bit silly for having him come home early.
Thing is, I don't have too much trouble when Gareth gets cuts and scrapes. Even when he hit his head on a door hinge a couple years ago I was able to handle that quite well (I did have to look away from time to time and take a deep breath, but that's not bad for a head wound I'd say). And for his typical knee cuts and scrapes I have no problem cleaning them up. So apparently it's not so much the blood that's problematic (though it definitely is to some extent), but maybe the pain aspect. When I'm washing out Gareth's cuts I'm not causing myself any pain (though if you heard him you'd think I was cutting his leg off). But if I've cut myself there's a lot of causing myself pain to get it taken care of, not to mention the pain from having a sharp knife slice through your skin. If only I could somehow get myself to react as well with my own cuts as I do with Gareth's. Any friends been successful at overcoming queasiness at the sight of blood? Oh, and tomorrow I get to discover just how much this will mess with my practicing ahead of my audition at the beginning of September. Horrible timing.
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