Halfway to Food

Malcolm is halfway to being able to start solids. Hopefully, anyway. I'm a little nervous about how he'll do with that and if we'll actually be able to start around six months or not because this kid has a serious gag reflex. I thought Gareth's was bad as an infant, but Malcolm gags on nothing multiple times a day. At least lately he has stopped puking every time he gags, but I still find myself trying to decide if I should run to the sink whenever the gagging starts. I'm excited for solids because then he'll be nursing less often. Nursing is not my most favorite pastime; it tends to make me feel a bit trapped. It's been a little better this time around since I'm more comfortable nursing in public. I didn't take much notice of when Seattle made breastfeeding a protected civil right, but I've got to say that it actually helps a lot to have that in place. It was already state law, but the Seattle measure makes the state law more enforceable. Knowing that that's in place and seeing other women nurse in public is definitely helpful in increasing my comfort with feeding my child outside of my home. This means that I can take Gareth to the science center or the park without stressing about whether we'll be able to make it there and back home before Malcolm would want to eat again (right now we wouldn't as he still eats every three hours or less). I was tempted at the beginning to pump all the time and just feed him breast milk from a bottle, but in the end that's just more work than it's worth for me. Ryan tries to feed him a bottle if I've got a rehearsal or go out with friends (Malcolm's not loving the bottle right now, maybe we need to try a different kind?), so I've got a fair amount of freedom. But I'm still excited for him to start on solids and hopefully wean around a year.

He's a cute baby, something we're both enjoying more this time around since we're not nearly as overwhelmed as we were with Gareth (sorry, Gareth!). While we enjoy that he's cute, he's still boring like every newborn is. You hold him for five minutes or less and there's not much you or he can do, so then you put him down and he screams. We're excited for him to grow up a bit.

He's started playing with his hands a bit and trying to chew/suck on them. Malcolm has found his thumb a couple of times but this has just caused increased frustration as he seems to know there's something there that was great fun to suck on, but he usually won't move his thumb out from his other fingers enough to really be able to suck on it. Instead he sits there bobbing his head all around his hand, gnawing and sucking on whatever comes in contact with his mouth, but never really finding satisfaction.

He seems to be more interested in books than Gareth was at this age. He'll actually sit calmly through Brown Bear, Brown Bear and stares most intently at the black and white pages (that would be the dog and the sheep, for those who don't have the book memorized). He loves having his arms and legs flailed around wildly. His other love is his changing table. You put him down there and he starts smiling like crazy. He's not such a fan of shirts going on or off over his head, but if all he needs is a diaper change you can be certain you'll have an ecstatic baby by the time you're done.

He smiles a lot, especially at Gareth. He seems fascinated by all that Gareth can do. He also has an adorable pout, but I've yet to be able to capture it on camera. Even his smiles seem hard to catch. Ryan can trigger the pout by speaking in a very deep voice. I usually trigger it by playing the clarinet.

Sleeping is an area we're still working on. Around 11 weeks he started sleeping through the night, but that only lasted for a little over a week. Now he'll sleep through a couple of nights then wake up between 3 or 4 for a few nights. But we have to acknowledge that we're still pretty lucky in the sleep department. He's been waking up only once during the night from just a couple weeks old and he puts himself to sleep every night with no help from us. And, finally, his most recently acquired skill (he'll hold his upper body up like this for several minutes usually):

Swimming Lessons

Gareth started swimming lessons tonight. I spent all last week worrying that it was this week already and that I'd forgotten about swimming lessons, only to have Ryan get home tonight and, as I was about to head out for a couple dinner ingredients, ask if Gareth wasn't supposed to have swimming tonight. Thankfully he remembered 30 minutes before the lesson was supposed to start!

I wish I'd thought to bring my camera with me to record Gareth getting into the pool. He's in a group of four and five year olds. They keep a 6 to 1 student to teacher ratio (though his section has a 4 to 1 ratio right now), dividing the kids out into skill levels. Gareth made it obvious that he needed to be in the lowest skill level when he was the last one to enter the water. He got his legs in, but was clinging to the side of the pool for dear life, holding his torso out of the water. They had to pry him off the side to get him in. He told us in the car later that he wasn't sure if there was a floor or not, so that's why he was nervous about getting in. Makes sense to me. A lot more sense than my irrational fear (that I held for much longer than I'd care to admit) that the black lines on the bottom of the YMCA pool would turn into sharks and eat me.

Once he was in he got comfortable pretty quickly. His instructor didn't make them submerge themselves under the water, but did get him to blow bubbles with his mouth and nose. Not too bad, for a first lesson. They also worked on kicking while holding onto the side of the pool and on floating on their backs (with the instructor's help, of course). He was very excited about it and talked about how much fun it was and that he hadn't known he could do all those things before. Good thing he likes it; we signed him up for two classes so he'd go twice per week rather than just once. Having him like it will make the other night when I take him by myself (with Malcolm in tow) much easier. And hopefully by the end of the summer he'll have made some good progress!

Hair

A couple years ago we grew Gareth's hair out for his Halloween costume. We were so focused on how horrific it looked for so long that we didn't notice that by the time Halloween actually came it looked awesome.

And so we immediately chopped it all off after Halloween was over. This past Halloween I was looking through pictures and realized how great his hair had looked long and was sad that we'd cut it short again so soon. We'd just shaved his head for his costume and his hair was growing back anyway, so we decided to let it grow long again. Right now it's in the horrific poof stage, but we know in a few months (hopefully before school pictures?) it'll look decent. (He likes to make silly faces in his pictures now. The hair is actually not looking quite as poofy today as it was a couple of days ago.)

For quite some time now Ryan's been wanting to do something different with his hair (see the photo above for what his hair has looked like ever since I've known him). I was no help in the "what should I do with my hair" department, but we both knew he'd have to grow it out a bit longer in order to do anything interesting with it. I wasn't sure he'd be able to since he typically starts bugging me for a hair cut as soon as his hair gets anywhere near his ears. But he has a good friend in Indiana who has long hair and so around the same time we decided to grow out Gareth's hair, Ryan decided to start growing his as well. Gareth's we'll probably keep about the length in the photo above, maybe a tad longer. But Ryan's going to grow his at least shoulder length long.

In all honesty, I'm not sure long hair will be a good look for him. It is great for his friend and for many others I've seen, just not sure it'll be right for Ryan. But we figure that if we don't like it really long at least this way we'll get to see it at various stages and be able to determine a look that's good for him. Plus I'm really interested to see what his hair is like at various lengths. His is a bit funky looking at it's current stage as well, but it's actually better than when just the sideburns were getting long. Then he'd get little wings as soon as he put his glasses on every morning and it just looked ridiculous. But now the rest of the hair has caught up a bit and so the wingy sideburns don't look so bad anymore.

This was a couple of weeks ago, and he was making it poof up more than it usually does - it looked even more absurd in person. We have good intentions to continue taking pictures as it grows so if that actually happens we'll continue to document his hair growth here.

Pediatrician Update

About a week after I took the boys into the pediatrician I finally had a chance to call her office. I called, they had a nurse call back, I told the nurse I actually wanted to speak with the doctor, and she called me back during her lunch.

I'd spent the week since we'd been in being hyper-aware of Gareth when he socialized with others. A couple of the other preschool moms were as well, they told me. :) Watching him so closely confirmed to me that he's a perfectly "normal" five year old. When the doctor called back I asked her what "quirks" she'd seen, since I didn't think I knew what she was talking about. Turns out, nothing. Just that he's super-friendly and some kids like that are overly friendly at times. Who would have thought this was a problem? Ryan and I were both quite introverted all through our primary and secondary school years and always viewed Gareth's extroverted personality as something that would make his school life much easier than ours had been. (We also wonder how on earth he came by it and how we're going to relate to him as a teenager if he remains so social since his experiences could differ drastically from ours.) I told her I'd talked with his preschool teacher and other parents and that they all assured me Gareth is on par with his peers and just fine. And I made sure to let her know that if you use the words "the spectrum", most parents will be worried and freak out at least a bit. She was very apologetic and said she'd misspoken.

Basically I got the idea that she just didn't think through very well what she was trying to say and ended up taking the initial conversation places she hadn't meant to. I was glad she was willing to admit where she'd been wrong and apologize for it. One of the things I've liked about her before is that she doesn't make you feel stupid for asking questions or bringing your kid in. In this case, she didn't seem at all put out that I'd called back to talk more but was very glad I'd done so. I'm not going to throw her under the bus for one bad communication day, so we'll keep going to her for now. If we have more problems in the future, then we'll find someone new.

Preschool "Graduation"

I've always thought having a graduation from preschool is a bit ridiculous. And I still do. But Gareth's class had one so I dutifully attempted to get some pictures. Unfortunately my camera was having a blurry day. Usually it takes great pictures. And then every once in a while it decides that every picture it shoots will be blurry. It doesn't matter what it's of or how still you are or anything; the picture will be blurry.

Their teacher actually did a very nice job with the whole "graduation" thing. She wrote a note to each child and gave them a ring and a necklace and then put on their caps that they had decorated. It was nice and brief and then she had snacks for everyone. Before they did all of that she had a circle with the kids where they got to share their favorite thing about preschool. I missed what Gareth said because Malcolm was screaming, but apparently he said his favorite thing was celebrating birthdays and getting to see baby pictures of his friends.

Circle Time

Waiting for his turn during the graduation ceremony. I was feeding Malcolm, so Gareth sat with Grandma Jean.

Receiving his graduation ring

The day after this they had a picnic and then yesterday one of the kids had a birthday party which most of the preschoolers made it to, so graduation wasn't really a final good-bye. Preschool has been really good for Gareth and he misses it already, but he's very excited for Kindergarten in the fall.

2 Months/5 Years

The less emotional aspect of the recent jaunt to the doctor:

Gareth's height: 43" (50%)
Gareth's weight: 41.4 lbs (50%)

Malcolm's height: 23.25" (60%)
Malcolm's weight: 11 lbs, 2 oz (25%)
Malcolm's head: 38.5 cm (30%)

It's interesting to compare this to where Gareth was at 2 months (remember that he started out 13 oz larger than Malcolm at birth). Gareth at two months measured 22.25", weighed 11 lbs even, and had a head circumference of 40 cm. So Malcolm's caught up in the height and weight department (not surprising considering he's recently started eating every two hours again), and Gareth had a big head.

The doctor is very pleased with Malcolm's growth. Hopefully he'll be able to keep it up - something his brother didn't manage. Malcolm got three shots and an oral vaccine today. I was tempted to see if we could space all the vaccines out a bit more this time around, but in the end agreed with the doctor that since Gareth will be starting school next year and around all sorts of germs and sick kids that it's probably best to keep Malcolm on the usual vaccination schedule. He's wasn't too happy about these first shots. He had a massive puke after they gave him the oral vaccine, so they had to give it to him again since it obviously didn't enter his system at all.

Gareth only got one shot - a DTap. He screamed a lot less than Malcolm. In fact, he only let out a mild "ow". Though that arm is a bit sore and red now, poor kid. I can't remember when it was that we transitioned from screaming bloody murder to not being bothered at all. I don't think he got any shots at his last check up a year ago and I'm pretty sure the last time he had a shot before then he still cried, though he probably didn't scream. So somewhere between 3 and 5 he managed to get over that. Which is interesting since he still screams bloody murder if he so much as bumps his knee into something or stubs a toe here at home. Maybe one day I'll be able to convince him that such things don't require wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Gareth with Malcolm at about 6 weeks

Pensive Sleeping

2 Months

Malcolm in the Morning

Malcolm is getting to be quite smiley these days, though I have a hard time capturing his smile in pictures. Once I start trying to take pictures he starts screaming. He's started enjoying having his arms and legs flapped around wildly and otherwise being played with. He's not too keen on trying to hold any toys yet, but he does show more interest in them when someone else holds them for him. Not sleeping through the night yet (Gareth has him beat there at 7 weeks), but he will occasionally tease us by sleeping for five or six hours straight (usually 11 to 5). The next night he's usually back to being up at 3 and 6. I'm hoping the teases become everyday soon.

Pediatrician Visit - The Emotional Part

Today was difficult. First of all, I have a cold, which is never fun. It's even less fun when you have an infant to take care of and an exuberant older child that you're trying to shuttle around to end-of-school-year activities. But Malcolm let me sleep from about 10:30 until 5 am last night, so I was doing okay (he wasn't asleep that long, but he'd been fed and Ryan took him downstairs while I went to bed; I have no idea when he actually fell asleep).

The boys had a pediatrician visit today. We were a bit rushed getting out the door (I didn't get any breakfast), but we made it there and things seemed to be going well. Gareth was his usual chatty self - he thanked the nurse for letting him play games (test his vision and hearing) and was perfectly cooperative and patient. Malcolm was a bit on the pukey side, but that's nothing new. Then the pediatrician started talking about how Gareth seems to be working at a higher level than most kids intellectually, he's very thoughtful and she's worried about Gareth socially. Uh, what? She thinks he has some quirks that could be off-putting to others. I mention that he's very outgoing, loves making friends, etc. She says that's fine but it's only half of it. He needs to recognize that others aren't reciprocating. And she goes on about how missing those social cues is one of the symptoms on "the spectrum". I don't know about you, but the only thing I can think of for that to mean is the autism spectrum. She doesn't want to label him just yet - maybe he'll be fine - but she wants to start the conversation. There are social skills training classes for kids.

Unfortunately,  I wasn't feeling well enough and was so blind-sided by what she said that I didn't think of all I should have at the time. What "quirks" is she talking about? No idea. Sure, he has some, but what five year old doesn't? Yes, there will probably be kids who think he's weird or don't like him. I'm pretty sure that happens to most of us. How can she tell anything about his social skills from a ten-minute check-up? I was basically left feeling like any kid who isn't instantly in the popular crowd is now being told there's something wrong with them. But I don't want to be in denial if there's something going on, so I decided I'd talk with his preschool teacher.

We left the doctor's office, ran to the toy store to pick up something for the preschool pinata and a birthday gift, then rushed home to grab me some orange juice and Gareth a sandwich. Off to the pharmacy to get Malcolm some tylenol since I'm doubtful he'll happily make it through Gareth's "graduation" without it. We get to preschool late, just in time for the graduation stuff to start. I've yet to really eat anything, I'm not feeling great still, and Malcolm is starting to get fussy, so my emotions are barely in check. I made it through the graduation stuff and talked with a close friend about the morning's visit and she seconded my idea to talk to the preschool teacher.

I asked the teacher if we could talk after class (thinking I'd go home for the last hour of preschool). On my way out the door I broke down when a couple of moms asked how I was doing. I ended up talking with several other parents about what had happened, all of whom were full of indignation at the pediatrician, told me she's crazy, that Gareth does a great job socially, and even gave me some food. By the time we finished chatting I figured I may as well stay until class was over. So we went out to recess with the kids where I talked with Gareth's teacher. She sees him four times a week socializing with other kids. She also agreed that the pediatrician didn't know what she was talking about, that Gareth is developing just fine socially. Of course he won't pick up on all social cues yet - most kids his age don't; it's something they're learning still. She's bothered by how cookie-cutter the pediatrician's comments feel rather than letting each kid have their own personality. While we were talking we could see Gareth happily playing with his peers. Then he was engaging with some kids from the elementary school, kids two or three years older than him. We found out later that they had come up to Gareth and some of his friends and told the preschoolers that the playground was the older kids territory and the little kids shouldn't be there. Gareth was the one who had no problem telling them that he and his friends were allowed to be there and that there was their teacher and this was their place to play also. His teacher reassured me that Gareth is perfectly fine socially.

All of this has left me feeling less than confident about our pediatrician. Up until now she's been amazing. She's usually very non-alarmist and reassuring. This came completely out of left field and I'm not sure why it came up at all. I think I'll be trying to talk with her to figure out where this came from. I'm hoping she can re-build my confidence in her, because I'd really hate to have to change pediatricians right now, but if I need to I have no problem doing that.